Read­ing Time: 3 minutes



Beloved read­er, wel­come to a new week! I hope you are gradu­ally identi­fy­ing your obstacles. It is good that at the begin­ning of the “ember” months, the Gos­pel presents us, with guidelines on how to resolve our con­flicts. Con­flicts are really ser­i­ous obstacles we should know how to handle. Con­flict is a double-edged sword. In the same man­ner, the effect of con­flicts depends on how we handle them. If we handle them adequately, prudently, and with intel­li­gence, they can for­ti­fy our lives and rela­tion­ships. But if, in hand­ling con­flicts, we allow our emo­tions to detect our actions and reac­tions, then they can have neg­at­ive con­sequences for our lives. In simple terms, con­flicts have both pos­it­ive and neg­at­ive effects, depend­ing on how we handle them. Jesus wants us to take advant­age of the con­struct­ive aspect of conflicts.

Conflict resolution

Con­flict arises from dif­fer­ences. It occurs whenev­er people dis­agree over their val­ues, motiv­a­tions, per­cep­tions, ideas, or desires. Some­times these dif­fer­ences look trivi­al, but when a con­flict trig­gers strong feel­ings, a deep per­son­al and rela­tion­al need is at the core of the prob­lem: a need to feel safe and secure, a need to feel respec­ted and val­ued, or a need for great­er close­ness and intim­acy. At times, con­flict can arise due to injustice.

For con­flict res­ol­u­tion, the parties are advised:

  • To focus on the present instead of hold­ing on to old hurts.
  • To learn and know when to let go of things that are not necessary.
  • To be spe­cif­ic about what is both­er­ing you.
  • To deal with only one issue at a time.
  • To avoid jump­ing to conclusions.
  • To be calm; to listen so as to understand.
  • To accen­tu­ate the positive.
  • To attack the prob­lem, not the person.
  • To avoid overgeneralization.
  • To avoid make-believe. That is, exag­ger­at­ing and invent­ing complaints.
  • To avoid stock­pil­ing because stor­ing up lots of griev­ances over time is counterproductive.
  • To avoid clam­ming up (lack of com­mu­nic­a­tion); to restate what you have heard.
  • Finally, to val­id­ate the feel­ings and con­cerns of the oth­er person.

Alternative conflict resolution

In recog­ni­tion by the leg­al pro­fes­sion and the courts that some dis­putes can be bet­ter resolved by agree­ment than court decision, the emer­gence in many nations of altern­at­ive dis­pute Dis­pute  Res­ol­u­tion (ADR)’ pro­cesses has also been asso­ci­ated with real prob­lems of delays in the court sys­tem. These altern­at­ive dis­pute res­ol­u­tion pro­cesses include ‘Medi­ation, Recon­cili­ation, nego­ti­ations, and arbit­ra­tion.’ An undoubted advant­age of medi­ation and con­cili­ation is the abil­ity to get speedy access to a pro­cess that may pro­duce  a  sat­is­fact­ory  out­come  for  the  parties  in  a  short space of time.


In any situ­ation involving more than one per­son, con­flicts are bound to arise. This is nor­mal and, there­fore, should not be a scan­dal. The causes of con­flict range from philo­soph­ic­al dif­fer­ences and diver­gent goals to power imbal­ances. Unman­aged or poorly man­aged con­flicts gen­er­ate break­downs in trust and loss. Jesus wants believ­ers to adopt a dif­fer­ent meth­od of set­tling dis­putes among them­selves. Often, con­flict arises simply due to a lack of com­mu­nic­a­tion or due to improp­er and inad­equate com­mu­nic­a­tion. It is not neces­sary to wish that con­flicts do not arise. They must surely come. Pray instead for the wis­dom and capa­city to resolve con­flicts in a more con­struct­ive man­ner, accord­ing to the indic­a­tions giv­en by Jesus. Such actions will, in fact, enhance our lives and rela­tion­ships with others.

SUNDAY REFLECTIONS” (vols. I‑II-III)!! The reflec­tion for the 23rd Sunday of the year (A) is found in
The Word of Life, vol. I, pages 431–443. Happy reading!

For details on how to get it, con­tact the author on this link: https://m.me/uchennabiblia?fbclid=IwAR2yeg4a6sDGBp9QGkIvKj6FSADumMokN6lshdE0zuo-JHs6qOmlhA7jyHo
or email me at: postmaster@uchennabiblia.com
or simply send an SMS on 08116100926, and I will get back to you.

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