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Conflict resolution

Con­flict arises from dif­fer­ences. It occurs whenev­er people dis­agree over their val­ues, motiv­a­tions, per­cep­tions, ideas, or desires. Some­times these dif­fer­ences  look trivi­al, but when a con­flict trig­gers strong feel­ings, a deep per­son­al  and rela­tion­al need is at the core of  the prob­lem – a need to feel  safe and secure, a need to feel  respec­ted and val­ued, or a need for great­er close­ness and intim­acy. At times, con­flict can arise due to injustice.

In per­son­al and group rela­tion­ships, lack of under­stand­ing about dif­fer­ing needs or opin­ions can res­ult in argu­ments and break­ups. In work­place con­flicts, dif­fer­ing needs are often at the heart of bit­ter dis­putes. Same thing is applic­able in fam­il­ies, com­munit­ies and groups. When you can recog­nize the legit­im­acy of con­flict­ing needs and become will­ing to exam­ine them in an envir­on­ment of com­pas­sion­ate under­stand­ing, it opens path­ways to cre­at­ive prob­lem solv­ing, team build­ing, and improved rela­tion­ships. When you resolve con­flict and dis­agree­ment quickly, object­ively and pain­lessly, mutu­al trust, love, hap­pi­ness, under­stand­ing and pro­gress will flourish.

For con­flict res­ol­u­tion, the parties are advised:

• To focus on the present instead of hold­ing unto old hurts;
• To learn and know when to let go things that are not necessary;
• To be spe­cif­ic about what is both­er­ing you;
• To deal with only one issue at a time;
• To avoid jump­ing to conclusion;
• To be calm; to listen so as to understand;
• To accen­tu­ate the positive;
• To attack the prob­lem, not the person;
• To avoid over-generalization;
• To avoid make-believe. That is, exag­ger­at­ing and invent­ing complaints;
• To avoid stock­pil­ing because stor­ing up lots of griev­ances over time is counterproductive;
• To avoid clam­ming up (lack of com­mu­nic­a­tion); to restate what you have heard;
• Finally, to val­id­ate the feel­ings and con­cerns of the oth­er person. 

FOR DETAILS, GET YOUR OWN COPY OF THE BOOK “THE WORD OF LIFE: SUNDAY REFLECTIONS” (vol. I)!! The reflec­tion for the 23^rd Sunday is found on pages 431–443. Happy reading!

For details on how to get it, con­tact the author on this link: https://m.me/uchennabiblia?fbclid=IwAR2yeg4a6sDGBp9QGkIvKj6FSADumMokN6lshdE0zuo-JHs6qOmlhA7jyHo or email me at: postmaster@uchennabiblia.com or simply send an SMS on 08116100926, and I will get back to you.

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